


Collapse

by jormungandRising



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bloodswap, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-23 19:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jormungandRising/pseuds/jormungandRising
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's hard being a mutant catgirl. It's hard and nobody understands.<br/>Your name is NEPETA VANTAS. You are the figurehead of a rising heretical cult, the Empress and her subjugglators are after your blood (literally), and the end of the world may or may not be near. What do you do? </p>
<p>~</p>
<p>This is a bloodswap AU that is also posting on fanfiction.net. Please don't get turned off by the tiny first chapter. They get longer every time. Rated teen for cuss words and some blood. (It's not super graphic, though. I can't stomach that).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Entrance

Nepeta darted through the trees, running for her life.  
She wasn’t screwed when the culling drones busted in on her speech. She wasn’t screwed when Sollux’s powers shorted out inexplicably and left them defenseless. She wasn’t even screwed when they sent in psionics of their own.  
Then, they sent the subjugglator.  
Nepeta could hear her giving chase. She could feel the chucklevoodoos pushing into her brain, and it sent shivers down her spine. She had to get back to the cave, pronto.  
“I can see you, mutant. There is no escape,” the subjugglator intoned, her voice piercing through the trees.  
The sun was almost up. Crap. If she didn’t make it back, she would be roasted alive. The subjugglator would be, too, but that was no consolation. THEY were replaceable.  
There! In between two boulders was a tiny, innocuous cranny. Nepeta slipped inside and found herself in cult headquarters. Safe.  
“Nepsis, you’re okay!” someone honked.  
“Hi Gamzee!” Nepeta waved at her friend. Gamzee grinned lazily.  
“Speaker’s been all up and worried, you better go comfort him.” Nepeta rolled her eyes. Her main cult subordinate, the Speaker, was the most uptight person she knew. He was only a sweep older than Nepeta herself, but he had given himself an adult title (which he refused to admit was one letter too short) and had a frustrating air of superiority.  
Nepeta entered the main hall to cheers from her followers. It was exhilarating, knowing that all of them practically worshipped her.  
“Friends and fellow trolls, we are now one town closer to taking down the Empress!” Nepeta shouted to great applause. She threw her hands up in the air, grinning at her people.

* * *

Enter Name: NEPETA VANTAS

Blood Color: SCARLET

* * *

Elsewhere, a subjugglator stood in silence. She smiled, the sticky paint on her face contorting the grin into a horrifying death mask.  
She had been foiled by the cat freak once. It would not happen again, and she would not allow it. Her target was within reach, and a new color was soon to join the plethora of others.  
She twirled a lock of curly hair around her finger as she smoothly walked back towards the town, where her ride awaited. Next time, the whip that lurked in her strife specibus would contact flesh. Next time, she would hear the delightful screams of her new victim.  
Next time, the cat troll would pay.

* * *

Enter Name: ARADIA MAKARA

Blood Color: PURPLE


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nepeta visits her meowrail, and Gamzee is high but not stupid.

~~angelicApocalypse began trolling gorgeousAntagonist~~

AA: i believe i have f0und the general l0cati0n 0f their base. 

GA: Good

GA: I Shall Notify The Empress

AA: n0. i will inf0rm her myself, 0nce i am certain 0f their whereab0uts. 

AA: d0 n0t w0rry, kanaya. 

AA: y0ur saw will taste bl00d s00n en0ugh. 

~~angelicApocalypse ceased trolling gorgeousAntagonist~~

 

* * *

 

Nepeta crept cautiously out of the secret tunnel and into the moonlight. She looked down, double-checking that she had worn her symbol today in grey, not scarlet. She was safe. 

She adjusted her cat helmet and ensured that its lenses covered her eyes, which were beginning to fill in with red. Today, she was going to see her moirail. 

She sheathed her claws as she neared Equius’s hive. As a blueblood, his home was much larger than it needed to be, full of twists and turns and random spare turrets. Nepeta made a buzzbeast-line towards it, careful to avoid his neighbors. The highbloods were very dangerous. 

Equius lived in a sprawling manor in the highblood district. There weren’t many other hives near his, but across the gulch there was another royal-blue troll. 

Nepeta had never directly met Equius’s neighbor, but she had been told that the troll, a certain Ms. Zahhak, was a loyal follower of the Empress. Nepeta was very careful to avoid that particular hive. 

She reached Equius’s hive and tapped on the door. Equius opened it and engulfed his moirail in a STRONG hug. 

“Hi Equius!” she burbed. 

“Hello, Nepeta.” Nepeta followed Equius into his respite-block, narrating the adventure in a manner that Equius stated several times contained far too many cat puns. 

“The playful kitty asks CT: ‘So meow have you been?’ AC bats at CT’s shoe,” she narrated once they had settled themselves into a pile.  

“I have told you, Nepeta. This roleplaying is foolish.” Nepeta pouted. 

“But I like the game!”

“This is foolishness. You will stop now.” 

“Why are you so lame?”

“I am not lame. I am sane,” Equius protested. 

“Lame.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.” 

“No.”

“You nefur play games with me,” Nepeta complained. “You have to like games, though! Efurryone likes _some_ kind of games!” Equius crossed his arms. 

“I will play games with you when you will tell me your blood color.” Nepeta frowned. 

Equius had been her moirail ever since they’d met in the woods one night, nearly six sweeps ago. Nepeta had been stalking a great wild beast, and she’d accidentally pounced on Equius instead. He was lost, and when Nepeta helped him find his way back to his hive they decided to swap contact information. 

She’d been hemanonymous even then, and it was always a sore point between the duo. Equius was very supportive of the hemospectrum, and if he knew that Nepeta was a mutant he would never speak to her again. He might even try to cull her. 

“Equius, you know I won’t tell you,” Nepeta replied. “I just don’t meow why you think it’s such a big deal!” 

“One day, I’ll find out,” Equius promised. 

“Nope.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“You _will_ tell me.”

“Nope.”

“Yes.”

“Nooooooooooooooooo.” 

“One day I will order you to tell me.”

“And I won’t answer.” They watched each other for a long moment, meeting eyes despite their mutual wearing of dark glasses. Equius was dripping with sweat. 

“I will make you tell me.” Equius took off his glasses, revealing his single seven-pupiled eye. He continued staring at Nepeta. 

“You wouldn’t,” she gasped. Equius was psychic, and Nepeta had known that for sweeps, but he had never before turned his powers on _her._

“I will if I have to.” 

“Bully!” Nepeta stood up, knocking their pile to pieces. “If you try, I’ll leave. I’ll leave befur you can find out anything!” 

“You will tell me your blood color.”

“No.” Equius began to raise a hand to his temple, and Nepeta fled for the door. He couldn’t know her blood color. He couldn’t. She knew exactly what would happen if he did find out, and although she valued her moirallegiance she valued her life more. 

“I will find out!”

“No!” Nepeta bolted back towards the woods, slamming the door behind her. Her stamina was incredible, and she didn’t stop running until she reached the trees. 

Back in the blueblood neighborhood, Equius crossed his arms and looked in the direction that Nepeta had fled. She would be back eventually, he knew that much, but when she’d return he couldn’t say. 

 

* * *

Name: EQUIUS SERKET

Age: 8 SWEEPS

Blood Color: CERULEAN

* * *

Gamzee had just left the grand hive of the Cult for the first time in over a sweep, and he was thoroughly enjoying it. The fresh air felt good on his face and horns, and he stared blankly up at the pink moon through the trees. It was a miracle. 

He had been sitting for a while, honking softly at the sky, when Nepeta broke through his daydream. 

“Gamzee? Gamzee, you should be inside,” Nepsis told him. Her words barely pierced his trance-like state, and he turned, a blank look on his face. 

“Honk.” 

“Gamzee, go inside. It’s almost daylight.” Nepeta took the absent-minded brownblood by the wrist and dragged him inside as he continued to stare at the moons. As soon as they stepped into the Cult’s hideout, they were practically jumped upon by the Speaker. 

“Lady Vantas, where hath thee been? Thy people hath been waiting. Thou ought to speak for them,” Speaker petitioned. Nepeta rolled her eyes. 

“Furst of all, you sound stupid. ‘Hath’ is singular. Secondly, go away.” Nepeta glared at Speaker, and the olive-blood was forced to back down. 

“Thou hast won this battle, but the next shall be my victory.” 

“Go away, Speaker.” Once Nepeta was sure that Speaker was gone, she turned back to Gamzee, who had spaced out again. She poked him slightly and he jolted back to attention. 

“Hey Nepsis. So where’ve you been?” he asked. 

“Hunting,” Nepeta bluffed. She knew that Gamzee wouldn’t see though her—

“You were with Equius again, right?” 

“WHAT?” Nepeta nearly shrieked. Gamzee let out a long, low honk. “How did you—how do you— _WHAT?_ ” Gamzee’s only response was yet another ‘honk.’ “Gamzee, tell me how you know about Equius. _Now._ ” She unsheathed her claws, and the spaced-out troll relented. 

“Saw you,” he muttered, almost too quiet for Nepeta to hear. 

“You saw me? How? When?” she demanded. 

“While ago. I was in a treebeast, and I spotted you in the highblood neighborhood.” Nepeta relaxed slightly, but still didn’t hide her claw gloves. 

“How long ago?”

“’Bout a sweep.” Nepeta sighed. He’d known that long? Well, at least she knew that he wouldn’t give her away. If he hadn’t already, then she was probably safe. 

“Why were you in the treebeast in the first place?”

“I was all up and lookin’ for Kalamine,” the brownblood explained. “That was when she disappeared, and Speaker had me track her. Then I saw you.” 

“Ah.” Nepeta was still spinning the scenario around in her head. She knew what Gamzee was talking about, of course—Kalamine had been one of the first trolls to find Nepeta, back before she knew her destiny in the Cult. About a sweep ago, Kalamine had mysteriously disappeared while on a mission. The investigation revealed nothing for several perigees until it was found out that the adult troll had been captured and culled for remaining on Alternia after her conscription. 

Nepeta left, satisfied with Gamzee’s answer, but Gamzee stayed behind, watching the sky grow slowly lighter through the doorway. 

He honked one last time before making his way back to his respite-block. 

 

* * *

Name: GAMZEE NITRAM

Age: 8 SWEEPS

Blood Color: BROWN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE TEXT COLORS.   
> Seriously. That chatlog at the beginning is only black and white because I have no freaking clue how to make it pretty; I'm really new to Ao3 as I said last chapter. If someone would leave a comment explaining how to add text colors, I would be their new best friend. I've tried to research it on Google but nothing I've found has been helpful. The tutorial on the website confuses me (admittedly, I'm not completely alert at the moment, but still).   
> Now, back to other notes. I apologize for the brevity of the introduction, but I'm not that incredible at beginnings (yet). Just as an FYI, these chapters will start to get longer and longer as I get into the stride of my writing. If you like really short chapters, then good for you. Get out ;). Some might not get much longer than this one, but as I continue there will be chapters in the multiple-thousands of words. I write original novels in my spare time, and I can state from experience that my average chapter is somewhere around 8 pages in Microsoft Word, and well over five thousand words. Expect some chapters like that in the future.  
> I will try to introduce two new characters each chapter, but that rule might bend a little eventually. The bloodswaps were chosen for irony, humor, and the pain of Alternia. Expect some actions that are different from how the canon characters would behave. I've kept most of them as close as I could to their canon counterparts, but certain characters are going to behave differently simply based on the change in their upbringings (Eridan and Tavros, I'm looking at you here). Obviously, I kept first names with the characters, and surnames with their blood castes. Feferi, Sollux, Tavros, and Vriska will probably see minor changes in their typing quirks.   
> Oh, and there WILL be Sgrub. Just wait. I think that's about it :)


	3. Chapter 3

~~gorgeousAntagonist began trolling angelicApocalypse~~

GA: I Have Spotted A Very Suspicious Character Visiting My Neighbor

GA: Permission To Investigate?

AA: granted.

AA: d0 n0t all0w him t0 interrupt y0ur search. i warn y0u, he may try.

GA: Thank You

GA: And Good Luck In Your Hunt

~~gorgeousAntagonist ceased trolling angelicApocalypse~~

* * *

~~caringClarity began trolling twotimesAdamant~~

CC: )(I Sollux!!!  


TA: hii feferii  


TA: have you found iit yet?  


CC: Yea)(!  


CC: I’m coming over to your )(ive, k?  


CC: Don’t try and tell me you can’t tell me w)(ere it is. I know ---EVERYTHING.  


TA: ff dont come  


TA: ii have…gue2t2.  


CC: Well poopie for t)(em because I don’t care.  


TA: 2eriiou2ly dont  


TA: ii mean iit  


TA: 2end me the iinfo through trolliian iif you have two. dont come two my hiive.  


CC: NY---E)(.  


CC: See you at your place!  


TA: ff dont…  


~~caringClarity ceased trolling twotimesAdamant~~  


TA: fuck  


~~twotimesAdamant ceased trolling caringClarity~~

* * *

“Guyth, we’re going two have company,” Sollux called to the others in his respite-block. Gamzee only honked in response, turning back towards the sopor pie that Nepeta was trying to confiscate from him. Sollux rolled his eyes behind his glasses.  


“What do you mean, we’re going to have company?” Nepeta asked.  


“FF got thome thtuff for me and she wantth two drop it off right now. I athked her not two but she didn’t care.”  


“Well, shoot,” Nepeta muttered. “Sollux, could mew stop her at the door?”  


“I doubt it. FF hath really thtrong psthionicth, remember?”  


“So do mew.”  


“She’ll jutht blatht through a wall.”  


“I meant, could you get the things from her at the door and just not let her in?”  


“Oh. Well, maybe, but she’ll probably want two come in…”  


“Tell her no,” Nepeta insisted, “it’d be so mewch easier!”  


“It’th not that eathy.” But the two’s argument was interrupted by Gamzee’s honk of delight as he finished off his sopor pie.  


“Gamzee, no! I thought you were going sober!” Nepeta snatched the pie tin out of Gamzee’s hands and threw it out Sollux’s already broken window.  


“Hey, eathy on the property,” he protested pointlessly.  


“Gamzee, no more drugs. Drugs are bad.”  


“Honk.”  


“And this is why you don’t get sopor at headquarters,” Nepeta sighed. “Come on, Gamzee. And stay away from Sollux’s recuperacoon!”  


“Motherfuckin’ miracles, sis,” he mumbled. “All them motherfuckin miracles all up in my vision…” Nepeta earned the achievement: Facepalm 2x Combo. Just then, the doorbell rang.  


“Sollux? Sollux, I know you’re in there,” someone called.  


“Hang on, FF, I’m coming,” Sollux shouted at the door. He swept the papers he and Nepeta had been working on into a folder labeled ‘Photographs of Bees,’ and ushered the two rebels into a hidden space behind the silicombs.  


“I’m coming in,” Feferi warned, and Nepeta heard the door click open, illuminated in red and blue light as Feferi entered Sollux’s respite-block.  


“FF, thith really ithn’t the betht time,” Sollux protested, but Feferi pushed past him to deposit a thick folder full of papers on Sollux’s already messy desk.  


“Listen, I don’t trust Trollian, you know that. Now, we’re going to talk about these right now and I don’t want to hear any objections.”  


“But FF—”  


“That’s an objection.” Feferi opened the folder and set out an array of papers so that Sollux could see them. “Now, you’re the better cryptologist here, so I trust you to go over my work, but I found these in the…place that we discussed.” Nepeta couldn’t help but listen in. She probably wasn’t supposed to hear them, but she was extremely curious.  


“FF, can we pleathe do thith another time?”  


“No.”  


“You’re tho bothy.”  


“I don’t want to hear one more lisping sentence out of you until I’m finished speaking,” Feferi commanded, using her psionics to shove Sollux backwards. He crossed his arms and frowned. Feferi pointed at something on one of the pages. “I think this is where it starts, see? The alphabet reads left to right instead of right to left, though, so we might have a little trouble there. I analyzed the script, and I’m pretty sure these five,” Feferi pointed out more things that Nepeta couldn’t see, “are vowels or vowel-equivalents.”  


“FF, I can decrypt them on my own. Pleathe, jutht leave. I’m buthy doing other thingth right now…” Feferi groaned.  


“I don’t get why you’re so insistent upon…” Just then, Gamzee decided to sample the mind honey. He burst out of concealment and started going crazy over whatever Sollux and Feferi were looking at, spouting what sounded to Nepeta like gibberish. Sollux was facepalming, and Feferi looked shocked. When she realized what was happening, she lit up with psionic light and peeled Gamzee away from their project. Sollux groaned.  


“FF, thee, thith ith why I didn’t want two do thith now…”  


“Hey. I think I’ve seen this face,” Feferi muttered. “Yeah, I have, it was that one time…”  


“FF? What are you talking about?” Sollux demanded, turning towards the yellow-blood. Feferi was still focused on Gamzee, who continued to talk quietly to himself.  


“You’ve been working with rebels,” Feferi declared.  


“Oh, fuck,” Sollux groaned. “If you tell anyone, Feferi, even a thingle one of your thtupid neighborth, I will dethtroy you.”  


“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” laughed Feferi, flicking a loose strand of hair out of her face. “But…”  


“But what?”  


“You have to let me in on it,” she whispered, still grinning. She noticed Gamzee, who seemed to have recovered from the effects of the mind honey, spacing out and staring towards Sollux’s recuperacoon. She gently lifted him away from Sollux’s belongings.  


Just then, Nepeta sneezed. Unable to remain concealed any longer, she stood up, releasing the blades of her claw gloves. Her knees and hands were covered in mind honey, which she wiped off on Sollux’s torn curtains.  


“And you’ll be another rebel!” Feferi bubbled, grinning. “Nice to meet you!”  


“Um…” Nepeta decided to worry about the mysterious psionic later. For now, she walked over to Gamzee and prevented him from taste-testing Sollux’s blue sopor slime.  


“Nepeta…” Sollux groaned, sinking into a chair.  


“What catpunned to Gamzee?” Nepeta asked, turning to Sollux. “Was that suppurrsed to catpun?”  


“Nothing wath thuppothed two happen. Gamthee wath thuppothed two thtay away from the mind honey. It’th an intelligenthe boothter, he wath temporarily very thmart,” Sollux groaned.  


“So you’re the mystery leader,” Feferi mused, staring intently at Nepeta’s greyed-out symbol. “I should’ve figured!” Nepeta took a step back in alarm, nearly falling into Sollux’s beehives.  


“No!” she bluffed. “I’m nobody!”  


“You’re wearing a greyed-out symbol, and you’re hanging around with this guy, whose picture I’ve seen on wanted posters for treason. And you’re consulting Sollux about something, and I know that his ‘Photographs of Bees’ folder contains anything but,” Feferi deduced. “Yeah, you’re a rebel.”  


“But…” Nepeta feebly protested.  


“Don’t worry, I have no intentions of reporting you,” Feferi continued. “You heard me—I want to be involved in this. I can help you with things that you probably can’t do yourself. I’m a master hacker, as good as Sollux. I’m almost certain that the government’s on his trail, from what I’ve heard lately on Trollian and such, but they don’t know anything about me besides the location of my hive and the fact that I own a husktop.”  


“I don’t trust you,” Nepeta declared. “You may be this master hacker, but how do we know you’re not really working for the Empurress?” Feferi shrugged and grinned.  


“Well, I could tell you just to ask Sollux, but I think I’ll make it simple. You get to choose to trust me! And I don’t really care if you do or you don’t, but I’m on your side regardless,” she answered. Nepeta continued to watch distrustfully.  


“I don’t believe mew.” Feferi grinned.  


“Just know this—I’m not working for the Empress. The only person I work for is myself—and the only thing I want is the end of the world as we know it.”

* * *

Name: FEFERI CAPTOR  
Age: 8 SWEEPS  
Blood Color: YELLOW

* * *

Name: SOLLUX MEGIDO  
Age: 8 SWEEPS  
Blood Color: MAROON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am reading up on HTML and CSS coding and such, but for now the chatlogs will have to remain colorless :( I have a basic understanding of how that stuff works, but I'm not quite at an advanced enough level to do this yet. I'm sorry. A thank you to isisUnbound, who helped me figure out what the heck to do. Actually, the story might be better without the colors at first--it builds the suspense! (Aka you can't guess what color the non-revealed characters are). (Like Kanaya. Mostly Kanaya).  
> Constructive criticism is more than welcome--in fact, I'd love to hear what people are thinking of this so far. I'm still not too experienced with handling other people's characters, and I'm worried that I've made people a little too OOC despite the AU-ness. Also, I'm terrible at cat puns.
> 
> EDIT: I fixed some formatting errors so everything should look nice(r) now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry about the pre-chapter note, I don't usually do this, but I realized that some of my timing might be confusing. So for reference, the first three chapters were each on separate, consecutive days. This chapter happens at the same time as the previous, however. The events of this chapter occur later during the same night as Nepeta and Gamzee’s interactions with Sollux and Feferi.

The sun was rising over the desert, shining far too brightly for any troll to look at—not like Karkat minded all that much, but the brightness was growing a touch too brilliant for his tastes. Yes, he could withstand the sun, but that didn’t mean that he FELT like roasting his ocular spheres in the orange glow. He rather liked his vision and didn’t plan upon losing it, despite Kanaya’s insistence that his immunity to sunlight applied to his oculars as well.

As the light grew bright and hot, he closed the mostly opaque shades covering his windows and groaned. The night had been a dull one, like most of his nights. There really wasn’t much to do in the desolation of the Alternian desert.

His husktop pinged.

 

~~gorgeousAntagonist began trolling carcinoGeneticist~~

GA: Karkat?

GA: Karkat Are You There?

CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?

GA: There Is No Need For Such Brusqueness

GA: I Merely Wondered If You Had Acquired The Pigments I Desired

CG: YES, I HAVE YOUR STUPID DYE.

CG: ARE YOU EXPECTING ME TO BRING IT TO YOU? BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, THEN YOU MIGHT NEED TO CHANGE YOUR PLANS. I DON’T FEEL LIKE TRAVELLING ALL THE WAY TO YOUR STUPID HIVE. WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN LIVE?

GA: The Material Is Not For Me Personally

GA: It Is For The Empress’s New Garments

GA: She Has Commissioned A Gown For Her Proper Ascendance And She Will Be Most Displeased If It Is Late

CG: THE EMPRESS CAN SUCK MY BULGE. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF SHE’S ‘DISPLEASED,’ I WOULD RATHER AVOID BEING BURNED TO A CRISP OR EATEN BY ZOMBIES.

CG: YOU DO REALIZE THAT’S A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY WHEN I LEAVE MY HIVE, RIGHT?

GA: Yes I Am Aware

GA: But I Doubt That Her Condescension Will Care

CG: TELL HER CONDESCENSION TO WAIT FOR ONCE. I CAN’T FUCKING PULL THIS STUFF OUT OF MY NOOK, ZAHHAK. 

CG: I’M GOING TO SLEEP. FUCK OFF.

~~carcinoGeneticist is now an idle troll~~

GA: Well Then

~~gorgeousAntagonist ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist~~

 

Karkat slammed his husktop shut and rolled his eyes. Why were all his friends such utter losers? He considered complaining about his Past Self’s willingness to open the chat log, but then decided against it. Instead, he began surfing the Trollweb.

There were rumors going around in the news about a rebel group, but in Karkat’s opinion, it was all total bullshit. Even if anyone was stupid enough to defy the Empress, they would be hunted down and culled immediately, along with everyone they had ever known.

Trawling through the dregs of the internet, Karkat wound up in a number of very sketchy sites. The sun was strong, and it leaked around the curtains, but he didn’t care.

One particular website caught his eye. He’d stumbled upon it by clicking a series of links, travelling from an article about recent revenant sightings to a log of well-known troll adults to a small forum that was known for its crackpot theories.

The site was plain black text on a light grey background, with minimalistic ornamentation and design. The top banner simply read ‘The True History Of Alternian Rebellion.’ If Karkat had been fully awake and coherent at the moment, he would have clicked away rapidly. Anything with a title like that was either a plant by the government or proof of treason should anyone in the higher castes find out about his reading it. But Karkat was neither fully awake nor coherent, so he continued to read.

 

_In modern times, trollian history is kept by the seadwellers. They are the highest caste, and so this should be natural—but they tend to leave out bits of the past; bits that are crucially important._

_One of these bits is the story of the Stranger._

_Stranger was a troll with a dream and a vision. She was hatched in a time when adult trolls still resided on Alternia, but unlike most of her age, she had no lusus to her name. Instead, she was found by another troll._

_The jade-blooded troll was a mere sweep and a half old, having wandered away from his Mother Grub lusus into the breeding caverns. When he stumbled upon the grub that was to become the Stranger, he was enraptured. He knew that she was different, and he took her into his arms, bringing her to the care of his own lusus._

_The Stranger and Defender grew up together, becoming moirails and finally matesprits. Their love was something beyond natural…_

 

Karkat stopped reading, but continued to stare fixedly at the screen. What the fuck _was_ this shit? It couldn’t be legal to post this kind of garbage on the interweb, especially not now that the new Empress was preparing to ascend. She was going out of her way to obliterate any possible opposition; something about justice for the highbloods. It was all fucking nonsense.

Karkat closed the internet window, and prepared to slam his husktop shut. He needed some sleep, but Trollian was pinging again. God forbid he should leave the abyss of the husktop without being harassed by some more assholes.

 

* * *

Name: KARKAT MARYAM

Age: 8 SWEEPS

Blood Color: JADE GREEN

* * *

 

~~gorgeousAntagonist began trolling carcinoGeneticist~~

GA: It Seems That You Will Have To Come Deliver The Pigments Personally Regardless Of Your Personal Wishes

GA: The Empress Is Quite Insistent That You Come To Her Palace

GA: She Wishes To Have The Colors Matched To Her Own Personal Hue

CG: WHAT THE FUCK.

CG: NO.

CG: I AM STAYING IN MY DESERT WHERE THE MOST I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ARE A COUPLE OF UNDEAD NOOKWHIFFS AND THE HEAT OF THE SUN.

CG: I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT TRAVELLING TO THE FUCKING OCEAN.

CG: THAT IS NOT A THING THAT I PLAN UPON DOING IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

CG: IN FACT, THAT IS NOT A THING I PLAN UPON DOING EVER. AT ALL. IF THE EMPRESS WANTS TO TALK TO ME THEN SHE CAN FUCKING COME HERE.

GA: Desert Sun Is Most Uncomfortable For Sea Dwellers

GA: You Know That

GA: And Besides, I Do Not Have The Authority To Counteract Her Condescension

GA: You May Message Her Yourself If There Is A Problem

GA: Unless I Am Mistaken You Do Possess Her Chat Handle

CG: NO. TALKING TO THAT NOOKSUCKER IS LIKE WRENCHING MY THINKPAN THROUGH MY EAR CANALS, THEN DISSECTING IT SLOWLY WITH A RUSTY NEEDLE WHILE IT IS STILL ATTACHED TO MY BODY AND CAPABLE OF SENSATION. AFTER THE PAN IS REMOVED AND TAKEN TO PIECES IT WOULD BE FED TO ME BIT BY BIT BEFORE THEY SLICE MY TONGUE OUT. THEN, FINALLY, IT WOULD BE REMOVED WITH SURGICAL TOOLS FROM MY STOMACH AND PLACED BACK INSIDE MY SKULL WHERE IT WOULD PROMPTLY BE MASSAGED WITH SHARP OBJECTS.

CG: THAT IS THE SENSATION OF COMMUNICATING WITH OUR BELOVED EMPRESS.

GA: How…

GA: Eloquent

CG: WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO CONTINUE?

GA: No, Thank You

GA: Although I Am Sure That The Conversation Would Be Delightful

GA:  I Must Warn You, Though, That If You Refuse Her Summons The Empress Will Send Subjugglators After You

GA: Have You Seen What Subjugglators Do To The People They Capture?

GA: You Would Rather Be Culled

CG: FINE. TELL YOUR BULGESUCKING EMPRESS THAT I’LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I’M FINISHED WITH WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW.

CG: AND DON’T GET YOUR HOPES UP.

CG: THIS IS IMPORTANT BUSINESS, IT PROBABLY WON’T BE ANY TIME SOON.

~~carcinoGeneticist ceased being trolled by gorgeousAntagonist~~

 

Kanaya sighed and stared at the chat window. Karkat really was the most belligerent person she knew, and she was certain that his bad attitude would get him in trouble.

In fact, she mused, it already had. The Empress was on his trail, and knowing what she did about Karkat’s history, it wasn’t likely that he would get out alive. Lady Peixes was a less than empathetic person, and Kanaya was thoroughly worried for Karkat’s wellbeing.

Yeah—she was so pale for him it wasn’t even funny. The ignorant douchebag probably had no idea, though. All he ever seemed to have time for was his stupid obsession with romantic comedies. His so-called ‘important business’ was probably just another bad movie.

Kanaya left her respite-block, wandering through her hive towards a window. In her location on Alternia, it was still night, although dawn would arrive fairly soon. The view out her window was impressive: several ostentatious blueblood hives in the distance, and a long stretch of shoreline to the east. Her neighbor Equius was pacing back and forth in his lawnring, looking down at the dead exoskeleton of his monstrous spider lusus. The thing had starved after Equius had refused to feed it.

Kanaya almost felt bad about what she was preparing to do for a moment, but the feeling soon passed like an unpleasant turn of the stomach.

She moved towards her recreation block, removing the tools from her highly fashionable belt. She still had several robots to finish. The foremost project was a commission from the Empress: a servant drone to attend her in place of a slave. It was a particularly difficult challenge, as most of Kanaya’s work wasn’t well-suited to water.

She was also working on a robotic hand for another one of her neighbors, who had fallen afoul of somebody’s lusus in the forest. He was a strong telekinetic despite his position on the hemospectrum, but somehow he had still lost a fight to the massive creature—he claimed it was a winged purrbeast, but that was ridiculous.

Kanaya’s robotic designs were famous all over Alternia for their craftsmanship and beauty. She also dabbled in fashion, hence her request from Karkat and the designs for the Empress’s cocktail gown that currently sat on a nearby desk, but so few trolls respected that particular art that she needed another way to make money. The robots were particularly lucrative, and she was always filling requests from her neighbor, who could support her on his payments alone. Apparently his favorite recreational activity was beating the shit out of metallic trolls.

When the sun came up, Kanaya laid down her tools and cleaned the grease from her hands. She moved to her husktop in order to send one last message.

 

~~gorgeousAntagonist began trolling carcinoGeneticist~~

GA: You May Stay In My Hive If You Need Lodging During Your Trip

GA: I Have Plenty Of Vacant Rooms

GA: You Need Only Inform Me And You Will Be Welcomed

~~gorgeousAntagonist ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist~~

 

That pale crush wasn’t going away any time soon, was it? Kanaya frowned and closed her husktop. Stripping to her nightclothes, she sank luxuriously into her sopor.

She dreamed of a city made of gold.

 

* * *

Name: KANAYA ZAHHAK

Age: 8 SWEEPS

Blood Color: ROYAL BLUE

* * *

 

Despite his protests, Karkat knew it would be ridiculously stupid to ignore the Empress’s summons. He packed his necessities that day, despite the heat filling the hive through the curtains. Once he’d thrown together everything he needed, he slept for a precious few hours.

His was a thick, dreamless sleep, and he awoke before sunset with a nasty feeling in his gut. Grabbing his pack, he descended the stairs of his hive to say goodbye to his lusus. The mother grub merely smiled knowingly.

It was only when he stood at the stop of the door, looking out at the desert, that he realized he had no means of travel whatsoever.

There was no alternative: he had to message Kanaya. He pulled out his grubphone and brought up Trollian, knowing too well that he was about to be on the receiving end of massive loads of stupidity.

 

~~carcinoGeneticist began trolling gorgeousAntagonist~~

CG: I HATE TO SAY THIS, BUT…

CG: I NEED A RIDE TO THE PALACE IF YOU WANT ME TO GO ANYWHERE.

CG: I’M KIND OF STUCK.

GA: I Will Come To Your Hive Shortly

GA: Do Not Worry, I Planned For This

CG: OF COURSE YOU DID.

~~carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling gorgeousAntagonist~~

 

Sometime around midnight, a grubmobile pulled up in front of Karkat’s hive. The window rolled down to reveal another troll.

Kanaya was fairly attractive, as trolls went, wearing lipstick the color of her blood and a pair of dark blue sunglasses. Her horns were much longer than Karkat’s, much to his chagrin, and though one of them was cracked they were clearly more impressive than the jade-blood’s ever would be.

Flushing madly, Karkat stepped into the grubmobile. The ride to the coast was excruciatingly long and mostly quiet, with a couple attempts on Kanaya’s part to break the silence. Karkat simply sat stubbornly, a frown fixed upon his face. It was all too obvious that he wanted to be anywhere but where he was at the moment.

When they finally arrived at Kanaya’s hive, he fled the grubmobile before it even slowed to a stop. The horizon was brightening in the east, and they hurried inside. Karkat set himself up in an empty, sparsely-furnished respite-block.

He desperately wished that he had someone to troll other than Kanaya. Gamzee was too annoying and vague, and Karkat didn’t feel like dealing with the drug-addled troll’s antics. Feferi was cryptic and had an unhealthy obsession with the apocalypse and the number two, which was shared by Sollux. That pretty much summed up everyone Karkat knew.

When the time came to meet the Empress, Karkat was actually relieved. He had deliberately avoided Kanaya throughout his stay in her hive, coming down only to eat. The Empress, however belligerent she was, would be a welcome relief. Something about Kanaya simply wigged Karkat out.

On the beach that night, a strange vehicle was waiting. It almost resembled a grubmobile, but it was incased in a massive plastic bubble and it appeared to have flippers. Kanaya entered and gestured for Karkat to follow.

“This will take us to the Empress,” she said simply. Karkat grunted.

The vehicle, which turned out to be called a grub sub, took them under the ocean and past multiple ridiculously enormous and ornate hives. Once or twice, a seadweller passed by and curled a lip at the land dwellers’ vehicle, but for the most part they were alone. Once again, Karkat ignored Kanaya. He was too busy hoping and praying that the grub sub wouldn’t sink or rupture.

Finally, they surfaced. The top of an elaborate hive pierced the waves, with a fuchsia flag flapping in the breeze above it. So this was the Empress’s palace, Karkat thought. It was even worse than he’d imagined it to be.

Kanaya led Karkat out of the grub sub and into the building. How she knew where to go, Karkat could only guess, because the place was a labyrinth of fuchsia and gold. The Empress certainly liked her treasure, that much was obvious.

“Welcome to the throne room,” Kanaya finally announced, leading Karkat into a room that was almost completely full of shadow.

If he hadn’t known better, he would have sworn that the two of them were alone in the massive hall, whose ceiling was out of view and whose walls were draped with royal fuchsia banners. The Empress’s sign was omnipresent, worked into the sweeping arches of the walls and the sharp angles of the tiling.

“Karkat Maryam. It’s a pleasure.” The voice came from the shadowed end of the hall, echoing weirdly around the chamber. The speaker sounded as though she was only whispering, but the shape of the hall bounced the words everywhere until she could have been shouting.

“My Empress,” he intoned, dropping to his knees as was custom. He wasn’t stupid enough to mouth off directly to the Condescension’s face. That would be suicide.

“I have delivered him as promised,” declared Kanaya. Her royal blue dress sparkled in the light of the single torch in the corner of the throne room. Karkat had a very uneasy feeling about the whole affair that was only strengthened by the fact that he couldn’t see his Empress’s face.

“You have done well. Now fetch me the others. You are dismissed,” replied the Empress smoothly. Her quiet voice, amplified by the hall, was more intimidating than a shout ever could be.

“Majesty? I was told that I was here to help tailor a dress?” Karkat said, his sentences turning into questions. “I will need to see you in order to do that.” To Karkat’s alarm, the disembodied voice of the Empress only laughed.

“I’m afraid that wasn’t entirely true,” she smirked. “You see, my _dear_ …you possess a certain quality about you that poses a threat to my rule. An _alarming_ threat.” The Empress stretched her words out, speaking to Karkat the way she would to a grub. “I’m afraid you must be exterminated.”

“What?” blurted Karkat. “But I—no way—” The Empress laughed louder, the sound of her cackles bouncing all over the stone room from every direction.

“Ampora,” she called. “Obliterate him.” Footsteps echoed from the shadows. Karkat got to his feet, reaching for the sickles that he always carried, but they simply weren’t there.

He’d left them at his hive. _Fuck._ Of all days to forget his weapons, it had to be today. He backed up against the cold stone wall, the smell of salt water stinging his nostrils. He may not be armed, but he wouldn’t go down without a fight.

His hearing, made hypersensitive by the darkness and his fear, picked up a quiet sound that he recognized all too well from his time spent at Kanaya’s—moving metal. Well-oiled joints were softly shifting as the mysterious aggressor moved closer and closer towards Karkat. A low chuckle bounced around the room.

A silhouette appeared in the torchlight. Karkat processed fins, polished metal, and a pair of long horns before he felt something pierce his chest.

He looked down slowly, stiffly, as heat burst through his body, sending him crumpling to his knees. The lance had passed through his entire body, and jade-green blood sprayed all over the floor.

“Do clean up the mess,” the Empress commanded as Karkat’s vision flickered.

His last thought was that his blood looked remarkably like grub sauce.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mwahahahahahaha  
> hahaha  
> haha  
> ha
> 
> fear not, this is definitely *NOT* the last time you'll hear from Karkat Maryam ;)


End file.
